Shout out to our newest (and 2nd) follower, Meghan! Unfortunately the Ham has been given away. However, Meghan we'll be sure to present you with some pork product as a token of our appreciation. Side of bacon? Baby back ribs? Who knows!
Well, I suppose an entry this holiday week requires that we either set goals for the new year or give thanks for the previous year. In college we had a list that we called "The Good Things In Life." It wasn't an annual compilation but rather a running tally of both the big and small things we enjoyed during our days at Oregon. It included things like Mug Night and Peanut Butter yogurt with Chocolate Sprinkles. Many things have changed since my college years (so very many they would make their own interesting list), but I do still enjoy a frosty mug of beer (and even better if it's only $1) and a nice frozen yogurt (although where did all the good fro yo shops go?). Usually around new years I just make a list of the restaurants I want to try in the new year (Foster's Burger anyone?!?), but this year I thought I'd do a little more and do a 2009 Good Things In Life list. So here it goes:
black butte ranch
reading roal dahl
ping and pok pok
getting married
a cena ristorante
steak-umms (who knew!)
champagne
the ducks
true blood
lacrosse
limo rides
the power of a funny status update
click clack moo cows that type
reading groups
the end of reading groups
art lit
scouts
facebook friends
regular friends
vegas bachelorette party (not mine)
finally breaking 90 consistently again
throwing the perfect breakfast surprise party
soccer
trips to bedford brown, george morlan, parr lumber and miller paint
a brand new bedroom
the fourth of july parade and pancake breakfast
writing again
criminal minds
eating at the restaurants on the 2009 restaurant list
disneyland
californication
golf with gary fisketjon
taco truck parties
reading all the books from gary fisketjon
live karoake
kokanee cafe
the nines
dexter
big little things
anything with alec baldwin
the moments when my children were good and I didn't expect it
reading beverly cleary
being a family
discovering swim team and junior racquetball
3rd grade music programs
the ringside
breakfast at fenouil
food carts
planning a trip to the rose bowl (going to the rose bowl will go on the 2010 list)
I wouldn't say it's comprehensive - I'm sure there are many other things I have enjoyed in 2009. But it's a start. Just writing it made me smile. Now I just need to do the 2010 restaurant list - suggestions welcome (that will make me smile too).
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
The Ultimate Compliment
Oh, the small pants. I know the pair. Back left corner of the closet. Sort of teasing you. Sneaking out from behind the lovely loose max studio dresses. Occassionaly being tried on. Even worn from time to time (much to your chagrin around lunchtime). Oh, small pants - we banish you! And to celebrate, we snack. Especially this time of year.
Speaking of the time of year - I did some shopping today. Met a colleague at Nordstrom for lunch and the line was almost all the way back to Petites. Yikes! There was an angry husband in front of me in line who literally could not believe how long the line was. Yes, he mentioned this to me multiple times. In general, it's always interesting downtown during the holiday season. You can count on seeing at least a few cars going the wrong way down a one-way, people struggling with the ticket machines for MAX and the occassional bike/pedestrian run-in. Today I saw something new though. A nice middle-aged woman driving a blue subaru got caught on a red light in the middle of the intersection. You could tell by her apologetic waving and shoulder shrugging that this was an accident. She had no idea that when the light turned green she really couldn't actually proceed forward due to congestion. So, she proceeded only to be stopped. And stuck. Well, things got worse when the MAX train got ready to roll through the intersection. Let's assume the MAX driver was not having a good day (or alternatively is just a complete ass). He hit the horn and hit the gas - barreling into the intersection. I really thought for a minute that he was going to hit her. Just in the nick of time she was able to scoot forward just enough to get out of the train's way. But barely. Everyone on the street was a little in shock. Even us jaded office-workers who know Tri-met's good and bad side were a little shocked. I saw a few people write down the train number (#120) and mutter about how they were going to call and report him. I don't think they were going to call-in a compliment.
Speaking of compliments... I received the Ultimate Compliment today. I ran into someone who told me they thought my most recent status update on facebook was really funny. Yes, this is the ultimate compliment. It's what I most hope for when I post status updates - that someone will laugh. I am that easy. I'm guessing the grumpy MAX driver is not.
Speaking of the time of year - I did some shopping today. Met a colleague at Nordstrom for lunch and the line was almost all the way back to Petites. Yikes! There was an angry husband in front of me in line who literally could not believe how long the line was. Yes, he mentioned this to me multiple times. In general, it's always interesting downtown during the holiday season. You can count on seeing at least a few cars going the wrong way down a one-way, people struggling with the ticket machines for MAX and the occassional bike/pedestrian run-in. Today I saw something new though. A nice middle-aged woman driving a blue subaru got caught on a red light in the middle of the intersection. You could tell by her apologetic waving and shoulder shrugging that this was an accident. She had no idea that when the light turned green she really couldn't actually proceed forward due to congestion. So, she proceeded only to be stopped. And stuck. Well, things got worse when the MAX train got ready to roll through the intersection. Let's assume the MAX driver was not having a good day (or alternatively is just a complete ass). He hit the horn and hit the gas - barreling into the intersection. I really thought for a minute that he was going to hit her. Just in the nick of time she was able to scoot forward just enough to get out of the train's way. But barely. Everyone on the street was a little in shock. Even us jaded office-workers who know Tri-met's good and bad side were a little shocked. I saw a few people write down the train number (#120) and mutter about how they were going to call and report him. I don't think they were going to call-in a compliment.
Speaking of compliments... I received the Ultimate Compliment today. I ran into someone who told me they thought my most recent status update on facebook was really funny. Yes, this is the ultimate compliment. It's what I most hope for when I post status updates - that someone will laugh. I am that easy. I'm guessing the grumpy MAX driver is not.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Bring on the Texicanas!
Jill, I am deeply glad that you were able to get past the Texicanas and learn to love alcohol again. It speaks to your inner personal strength. I myself had a run in with being overserved at Ted's work Christmas party, a party from which I arrived home with purple lips and purple teeth. I still think you are not overserved until you either pass out in your own backyard or in the front seat of your car in the middle of the front yard, with AC/DC blaring at 2 a.m. and a neighbor has to come over to let your wife know and assist her in getting you out of the car (and yes, this did happen to someone I know). I guess I just have very high standards of being overserved.
It is officially Christmas break for us all. I have a long list of tasks that have been put off for over a year now in order to focus on school. I have noticed a disturbing tendency when faced with one of these projects to go to the kitchen and rummage for a snack in order to mentally and physically sustain me through the pain of sending all my size 6, 8, and 10 pants to Goodwill. I keep telling myself that if I ever get back to a size 8/10 (in the case of a famine, a size 6 might be possible) I will not want to wear white pants covered in large pink and red flowers. The snacks reduce the likelihood of me ever wearing these clothes again, which in turn has probably saved me from the embarrassment of wearing those pants outside of my house. I also cleaned my sons' bedroom today in order to clear out the massive amounts of stuffed animals, happy meal toys, and clutter that make it a room that might possibly be featured on Hoarders. In 5 days, my efforts will be rendered useless when we are flooded with new toys and games but no one will let me get rid of the old ones. Sigh.
Maybe in lieu of a snack, I should just have a Texicana.
It is officially Christmas break for us all. I have a long list of tasks that have been put off for over a year now in order to focus on school. I have noticed a disturbing tendency when faced with one of these projects to go to the kitchen and rummage for a snack in order to mentally and physically sustain me through the pain of sending all my size 6, 8, and 10 pants to Goodwill. I keep telling myself that if I ever get back to a size 8/10 (in the case of a famine, a size 6 might be possible) I will not want to wear white pants covered in large pink and red flowers. The snacks reduce the likelihood of me ever wearing these clothes again, which in turn has probably saved me from the embarrassment of wearing those pants outside of my house. I also cleaned my sons' bedroom today in order to clear out the massive amounts of stuffed animals, happy meal toys, and clutter that make it a room that might possibly be featured on Hoarders. In 5 days, my efforts will be rendered useless when we are flooded with new toys and games but no one will let me get rid of the old ones. Sigh.
Maybe in lieu of a snack, I should just have a Texicana.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Team Spirit
Well, we made it to the Blazer game. I didn't have to face the beer/hot dog decision because we ended up at Mamma Mia's beforehand. I managed to put back a glass of red wine with my bolognese (kudos to Mamma Mia's for a delicious bolognese). So it turns out that after being over-served I am able to face alcohol again a short three nights later. Good for me!
The Blazer game was fun. Following the theme of being over-served there were four older gentlemen behind us who had indulged in some libations prior to the game (pretty safe to say they were drinking Budweiser). They were very spirited. We have pretty good seats fairly close to the floor and these guys were pretty darn excited to be "close to the action." My favorite was the one I referred to as "Santa" due to his long white goatee (which paired nicely with his shiny bald head). The goatee reached all the way to his chest and had that white frizzy texture that I associate with the king of Christmas (no, not Jesus - the OTHER king of Christmas). Santa was more excited than anyone else about the game. I don't mean more excited than his three buddies, I mean actually more excited than anyone else at the Rose Garden. Santa had it going on. He lead all the cheers: "DE-FENSE", "LET'S GO BLAZERS" and a variety of clapping moves. Even his unsuccessful attempts to start the wave did not alter his enthusiasm. Santa cheered relentlessly throughout the entire game.
At halftime the Blazers (known for their "fun" halftime entertainment) had some sort of contest for women to shoot free throws. It appeared to me that every woman in the Rose Garden was lined up to shoot a free throw. And there they went - step up, shoot, miss and so on and so forth. And there went Santa, right with them - "You go girl in the black jeans! Keep it up fat Grandma!" Although not particularly PC, I felt Santa's intentions were good.
We started out the second half with some of Santa's best work. Santa was also a heckler and the second half gave him a fantastic opportunity to heckle the opposing team during free throws. Every free throw included a series of verbal assaults worthy of a truck stop. It was inspired. The game was a good one and despite playing lukewarm for the first three quarters the Blazers made a strong fourth quarter push. Finally (as Santa said) the crowd was into it and on their feet. A game changing free throw attempt was missed by the opposing team as Santa assaulted the opponents with his most hair raising heckling. After the miss Santa leaned over to his buddy and said with great sincerety, "See, I think we really do make a difference." Yes folks, Santa believes. I guess the question is, do you believe in Santa?
The Blazer game was fun. Following the theme of being over-served there were four older gentlemen behind us who had indulged in some libations prior to the game (pretty safe to say they were drinking Budweiser). They were very spirited. We have pretty good seats fairly close to the floor and these guys were pretty darn excited to be "close to the action." My favorite was the one I referred to as "Santa" due to his long white goatee (which paired nicely with his shiny bald head). The goatee reached all the way to his chest and had that white frizzy texture that I associate with the king of Christmas (no, not Jesus - the OTHER king of Christmas). Santa was more excited than anyone else about the game. I don't mean more excited than his three buddies, I mean actually more excited than anyone else at the Rose Garden. Santa had it going on. He lead all the cheers: "DE-FENSE", "LET'S GO BLAZERS" and a variety of clapping moves. Even his unsuccessful attempts to start the wave did not alter his enthusiasm. Santa cheered relentlessly throughout the entire game.
At halftime the Blazers (known for their "fun" halftime entertainment) had some sort of contest for women to shoot free throws. It appeared to me that every woman in the Rose Garden was lined up to shoot a free throw. And there they went - step up, shoot, miss and so on and so forth. And there went Santa, right with them - "You go girl in the black jeans! Keep it up fat Grandma!" Although not particularly PC, I felt Santa's intentions were good.
We started out the second half with some of Santa's best work. Santa was also a heckler and the second half gave him a fantastic opportunity to heckle the opposing team during free throws. Every free throw included a series of verbal assaults worthy of a truck stop. It was inspired. The game was a good one and despite playing lukewarm for the first three quarters the Blazers made a strong fourth quarter push. Finally (as Santa said) the crowd was into it and on their feet. A game changing free throw attempt was missed by the opposing team as Santa assaulted the opponents with his most hair raising heckling. After the miss Santa leaned over to his buddy and said with great sincerety, "See, I think we really do make a difference." Yes folks, Santa believes. I guess the question is, do you believe in Santa?
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Over-served
Emily, I was over-served on Friday. At about noon. It started out pretty innocently. A little red wine with colleagues at our holiday party. But then there was the associate skit, which bordered on inappropriate. And then there was the band. And watching some of the older partners dance with the eerily exact same moves as my Father. And then there was me, joining the dancing. And with all of that came more red wine. Of course, that alone didn't do it. Had I called it quits after shutting down the band at 4:00 (yes, we dance in the afternoon - we don't question it) I may have been ok. But no - that is not what happened next. Next, we left the ballroom to find a lovely young bride and groom having their wedding photos in the lobby of the Benson. Who better to join them then me and a few work friends? After our photo shoot we went to Mother's to celebrate. And we discovered the Texicana. Have you ever had one? I have. Actually, I've had 6. Unfortunately I had them all on Friday. I don't know what is in a Texicana exactly but I'm pretty sure there was coffee and whiskey. At 7:00pm I was hit with the sudden and strong realization that if I didn't make it home within 20 minutes I would pass out at Mother's. My dear, sweet husband shuttled me home. I won't go into details about the rest of the night but I'm sure you can use your imagination.
Saturday was fun. It included a lot of eating and then sitting. There was breakfast at Elmers. Followed by sitting on the couch and watching Criminal Minds. Then lunch at Skyline Burger. Followed by sitting on the couch and reading/napping. Then there was another holiday party with prime rib and mashed potatos and cheesecake (no wine, thank you). Followed by more time on the couch and more Criminal Minds. Later that night there was toast.
Here is what I've learned. I haven't been over-served in awhile. Regardless, the tried and true method of feeding the hangover still works. What doesn't work quite as well is my bounce-back time. Even Sunday night I was still a little uncertain of my ability to ever drink again... We're off to a Blazer game tonight. Will a beer and a hot dog be in my future? I'm pretty sure the hot dog is in, but the beer? Well, we'll see...
Saturday was fun. It included a lot of eating and then sitting. There was breakfast at Elmers. Followed by sitting on the couch and watching Criminal Minds. Then lunch at Skyline Burger. Followed by sitting on the couch and reading/napping. Then there was another holiday party with prime rib and mashed potatos and cheesecake (no wine, thank you). Followed by more time on the couch and more Criminal Minds. Later that night there was toast.
Here is what I've learned. I haven't been over-served in awhile. Regardless, the tried and true method of feeding the hangover still works. What doesn't work quite as well is my bounce-back time. Even Sunday night I was still a little uncertain of my ability to ever drink again... We're off to a Blazer game tonight. Will a beer and a hot dog be in my future? I'm pretty sure the hot dog is in, but the beer? Well, we'll see...
Thursday, December 10, 2009
A ham
Thank you to our new follower, Christy. Your ham is forthcoming.
They're doing factors of 300 in third grade? No need to google, Jill--I am a total pro at factoring (as of winter term, 2009). That is because when I did the math placement test at PCC I placed into Basic Math. Which started--and I am not kidding--at addition and subtraction. I have had a very shaky relationship with math ever since first grade and due to chronic absenteeism all the way through junior high, I could not have told you what a factor of 300 was, let alone how to find it. Let's not discuss other math subjects like geometry, circles, how and why to use a protractor (other than to jab yourself accidentally) and the bane of my existence: fractions. I am happy to say that i have mastered it all the way up to Intermediate Algebra so I am ready, willing and able to help your children with math, at least until they get into the 5th grade or so. Then they'll have to wait.
They're doing factors of 300 in third grade? No need to google, Jill--I am a total pro at factoring (as of winter term, 2009). That is because when I did the math placement test at PCC I placed into Basic Math. Which started--and I am not kidding--at addition and subtraction. I have had a very shaky relationship with math ever since first grade and due to chronic absenteeism all the way through junior high, I could not have told you what a factor of 300 was, let alone how to find it. Let's not discuss other math subjects like geometry, circles, how and why to use a protractor (other than to jab yourself accidentally) and the bane of my existence: fractions. I am happy to say that i have mastered it all the way up to Intermediate Algebra so I am ready, willing and able to help your children with math, at least until they get into the 5th grade or so. Then they'll have to wait.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Speaking of Flash Cards & Hams
I had to help my 3rd grader with her homework last night and we had to figure out all of the factors of 300. I hate to admit it, but I really don't have a clue what a factor is. Sure, it sounds familiar. But what is it? Does it involve division? Numerators? Denominators? I was lost. So, to the internet we went. And after 30 seconds on the Google I had the answer (all 18 of them as it turns out there are 18 factors of 300). And as Sophie and I stared at the answers, I realized that I had just helped her cheat on her homework (and, it was my idea). I felt panic. What was I doing? As she hurriedly jotted down the answers I was paralyzed. What now? Eventually, I made her search around on the Google more until we found the definition of a factor and worked out where those 18 numbers came from. I felt a little better but couldn't shake the sinking feeling that I am not really 3rd grade math material. I was much more comfortable a few weeks ago when we were just running through addition and subtraction flash cards. Flash cards are my comfort zone.
When I was in law school my Mom (who is eternally looking for ways to help) would do flash cards with me. It sort of became this family joke, because a lot of what you learn in law school isn't really flash card material but she would consistently ask if we could do flash cards. And occassionally there would be subject matters that leant themselves nicely to flash cards and she would help me. And she LOVED it! W
To this day, when I'm overwhelmed at work she'll ask if there is anything she can do to help and then ask if I need to do flash cards. Of course, at this point flash cards don't really come up and we both laugh at the joke. But there is something nice about the offer. And if I'm speaking at a hearing I do sometimes put notes on index cards. Even just the flash card medium of the index card seems positive. Never underestimate the power of the flash card.
And now, onto my final subject of today: WE HAVE A FOLLOWER. And we owe him a ham...
When I was in law school my Mom (who is eternally looking for ways to help) would do flash cards with me. It sort of became this family joke, because a lot of what you learn in law school isn't really flash card material but she would consistently ask if we could do flash cards. And occassionally there would be subject matters that leant themselves nicely to flash cards and she would help me. And she LOVED it! W
To this day, when I'm overwhelmed at work she'll ask if there is anything she can do to help and then ask if I need to do flash cards. Of course, at this point flash cards don't really come up and we both laugh at the joke. But there is something nice about the offer. And if I'm speaking at a hearing I do sometimes put notes on index cards. Even just the flash card medium of the index card seems positive. Never underestimate the power of the flash card.
And now, onto my final subject of today: WE HAVE A FOLLOWER. And we owe him a ham...
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Flash Cards & Followers
Jill: Why don't we have any followers? I do know 3 people who have read our blog other than us. Should we deny them access unless they validate us by becoming our Followers? I think cash bribes would work. We need followers!
Did God hear Henry's prayer? Teddy thinks he's Jewish and wonders when his bat mitzvah is going to be (never as A) we are not Jewish and B) he is not a girl) and the other two refer to Jesus as either the Baby Jeebus or the Baby Cheesus. Clearly our religious education is lacking. Must get on that. Add it to the list of things I must get to when I have a moment.
I'd just like to take a minute to plug the lowly flash card. Yes, flash cards. I enrolled in Portland Community College after I realized that my creative writing degree from Arizona basically rendered me unemployable. I am currently taking math and science courses, which I avoided at all costs in high school and college, basically because they would have interfered with all the rest of the things that were going on in my life. Now that I think of it, the only things I had going on were occasional part time jobs, babysitting, reading books, sleeping, drinking/being hungover, and eating. I am doing better in these classes now, when I have about 50 things that I need to do that involve keeping other people alive, than I ever did when I had no one but myself to take care of. My final was today. Every single word, phrase, or concept that came out of my instructor's mouth went on a flash card. Some of my classmates are my age and even older. They're working hard. But then we have the 20 somethings that have really nothing going on except part time jobs, occasional babysitting, sleeping, and eating. They MOCK my flash cards. "Really?" they say when I tell them how I study. "Flash cards? I never use those." Yet all these scholars are getting C's and D's and I am fairly certain yet not totally positive until I see it online, that I got an A. Yep. Flash cards. Next time I write in between overseeing my children's religious education ("it's JE-SUS, not JEE-BUS") and doing all the other things I swore I would do when I had free time, I will explore the wonders of the college experience in the year 2009. Online courses! e-mail! Google! It is truly a different world.
As for daily posts...today's would be: 'It's really cold and I have hat head."
Did God hear Henry's prayer? Teddy thinks he's Jewish and wonders when his bat mitzvah is going to be (never as A) we are not Jewish and B) he is not a girl) and the other two refer to Jesus as either the Baby Jeebus or the Baby Cheesus. Clearly our religious education is lacking. Must get on that. Add it to the list of things I must get to when I have a moment.
I'd just like to take a minute to plug the lowly flash card. Yes, flash cards. I enrolled in Portland Community College after I realized that my creative writing degree from Arizona basically rendered me unemployable. I am currently taking math and science courses, which I avoided at all costs in high school and college, basically because they would have interfered with all the rest of the things that were going on in my life. Now that I think of it, the only things I had going on were occasional part time jobs, babysitting, reading books, sleeping, drinking/being hungover, and eating. I am doing better in these classes now, when I have about 50 things that I need to do that involve keeping other people alive, than I ever did when I had no one but myself to take care of. My final was today. Every single word, phrase, or concept that came out of my instructor's mouth went on a flash card. Some of my classmates are my age and even older. They're working hard. But then we have the 20 somethings that have really nothing going on except part time jobs, occasional babysitting, sleeping, and eating. They MOCK my flash cards. "Really?" they say when I tell them how I study. "Flash cards? I never use those." Yet all these scholars are getting C's and D's and I am fairly certain yet not totally positive until I see it online, that I got an A. Yep. Flash cards. Next time I write in between overseeing my children's religious education ("it's JE-SUS, not JEE-BUS") and doing all the other things I swore I would do when I had free time, I will explore the wonders of the college experience in the year 2009. Online courses! e-mail! Google! It is truly a different world.
As for daily posts...today's would be: 'It's really cold and I have hat head."
Monday, December 7, 2009
this and that....
Oh Emily, I feel your pain about zoo lights. It is always the plans that seem brilliant that fall apart hard and fast (and really, Civil War night for zoo lights? That IS brilliant). We took the kids (or tried to) to see Fantastic Mr. Fox Friday night but the young son displayed such a poor attitude that he eventually was taken home before the movie started. It was one of those parenting moments that are both awful and feel totally right. The best part was his bemoaning, "Oh God, Oh God, Oh God" in the back seat as I drove him home while his sister and stepdad went to the movie. He actually did some praying. We're not religious, so it was particularly funny to hear him invoke God. I wish I could find a way to do an audio feed on this so you could hear him. It sounded like an animal being tortured.
I have a new favorite weird website. Shout out to my brother for sharing this. It's www.freakingnews.com/Celebrities-Upside-Down-Pictures--2433.asp. Check it out. It will make you nervous. It will make you laugh. It will make you want to change your facebook profile picture.
Speaking of facebook - I've been thinking about a new facebook project. Something like 30 days of posting only the most obvious status updates. Today's would be, "It's cold."
Emily, I've noticed we don't have a lot of followers. Why is that? Do we need a gimmick? Possibly a prize or contest? Sign up to follow our blog and be entered in a drawing to win a free Christmas ham?
I have a new favorite weird website. Shout out to my brother for sharing this. It's www.freakingnews.com/Celebrities-Upside-Down-Pictures--2433.asp. Check it out. It will make you nervous. It will make you laugh. It will make you want to change your facebook profile picture.
Speaking of facebook - I've been thinking about a new facebook project. Something like 30 days of posting only the most obvious status updates. Today's would be, "It's cold."
Emily, I've noticed we don't have a lot of followers. Why is that? Do we need a gimmick? Possibly a prize or contest? Sign up to follow our blog and be entered in a drawing to win a free Christmas ham?
Thursday, December 3, 2009
More Christmas Fun!
You know, Jill, farting and burping are very important skills. I think that is the highest of praise from a 7 year old boy. I am sure they will only improve over the years.
Tonight was a night that started out with such promise and ended in hysterical sobbing because I wouldn't let my kids--none of whom have ever watched more than 5 minutes of a football game in their lives--stay up to watch the Civil War. We had the family Christmas party at my husband's office tonight without my husband, who is whooping it up in New York at the likes of Nobu instead of eating pizza and pumping the kids full of Capri Suns in his office's conference room. At least this year I wasn't sweating profusely due to the extreme stress of tracking the whereabouts of my children and I didn't have to worry about anyone accidentally getting on the elevator. We were driving home on 26 and I thought, "Hey, tonight would be a good night to go to Zoo Lights! No one will be there because of the game and we can get in and out quickly." If I had thought about it for more than 5 seconds, I would have discarded the thought due to the lack of amenities like gloves and hats, but it is CHRISTMAS, damn it, and I'm going to do the things that my parents never did with me. Turns out they were smarter than I am because quite frankly, Zoo Lights is a pain in the ass. So we detoured to the zoo and managed to park fairly easily. There was ooh-ing and ahh-ing at the beauty of the lights and the excitement of being at the zoo at night. Teddy said, "This is the best night of my life and you're the best mom I ever had!" as we walked down the long ramp. I thought we should ride the train first due to the arctic winds that were blowing so we wound our way through the extensive patron corral system for the train ride. The thought of standing all the way at the back of that corral was mind-boggling. But there was NO line tonight! We missed a train and had to wait for the next one and that's when the folly of my plan set in. It was COLD. No hats, no gloves or mittens. Finally the brightly lit train pulled into the station and we hopped on and sat in the cold metal seats for our 15 minute train ride through the zoo. Oh, it was a wonderful Christmas celebration with people singing carols and happy children and all was well until the train ride stopped, the adrenaline shut off, and did I say that it was COLD? Hot chocolate for 4 people was $10 and Owen couldn't make up his mind whether to drink it or not in between hugging every zoo worker dressed up as a monkey, a seal, or an elephant. And crying because he was so cold. I dragged everyone UP the long ramp to the parking lot but we had to spend 10 minutes stamping our hands for re-entry because of course we might want to get back in and then halfway to the parking lot everyone had to go to the bathroom. Then once we got home, everyone had to take a bath and get into pajamas and there was lots and lots of crying because everyone at school is watching the Civil War but us and we need to stay up and watch it because we're Beavers! (just so you know, I am mean.) I am now drained and I am already dreading next year's inevitable query: "When are we going to Zoo Lights?" No good deed goes unpunished.
Tonight was a night that started out with such promise and ended in hysterical sobbing because I wouldn't let my kids--none of whom have ever watched more than 5 minutes of a football game in their lives--stay up to watch the Civil War. We had the family Christmas party at my husband's office tonight without my husband, who is whooping it up in New York at the likes of Nobu instead of eating pizza and pumping the kids full of Capri Suns in his office's conference room. At least this year I wasn't sweating profusely due to the extreme stress of tracking the whereabouts of my children and I didn't have to worry about anyone accidentally getting on the elevator. We were driving home on 26 and I thought, "Hey, tonight would be a good night to go to Zoo Lights! No one will be there because of the game and we can get in and out quickly." If I had thought about it for more than 5 seconds, I would have discarded the thought due to the lack of amenities like gloves and hats, but it is CHRISTMAS, damn it, and I'm going to do the things that my parents never did with me. Turns out they were smarter than I am because quite frankly, Zoo Lights is a pain in the ass. So we detoured to the zoo and managed to park fairly easily. There was ooh-ing and ahh-ing at the beauty of the lights and the excitement of being at the zoo at night. Teddy said, "This is the best night of my life and you're the best mom I ever had!" as we walked down the long ramp. I thought we should ride the train first due to the arctic winds that were blowing so we wound our way through the extensive patron corral system for the train ride. The thought of standing all the way at the back of that corral was mind-boggling. But there was NO line tonight! We missed a train and had to wait for the next one and that's when the folly of my plan set in. It was COLD. No hats, no gloves or mittens. Finally the brightly lit train pulled into the station and we hopped on and sat in the cold metal seats for our 15 minute train ride through the zoo. Oh, it was a wonderful Christmas celebration with people singing carols and happy children and all was well until the train ride stopped, the adrenaline shut off, and did I say that it was COLD? Hot chocolate for 4 people was $10 and Owen couldn't make up his mind whether to drink it or not in between hugging every zoo worker dressed up as a monkey, a seal, or an elephant. And crying because he was so cold. I dragged everyone UP the long ramp to the parking lot but we had to spend 10 minutes stamping our hands for re-entry because of course we might want to get back in and then halfway to the parking lot everyone had to go to the bathroom. Then once we got home, everyone had to take a bath and get into pajamas and there was lots and lots of crying because everyone at school is watching the Civil War but us and we need to stay up and watch it because we're Beavers! (just so you know, I am mean.) I am now drained and I am already dreading next year's inevitable query: "When are we going to Zoo Lights?" No good deed goes unpunished.
Some Light Christmas Fare
A couple of great Christmas stories so far this year.
The first is from my friend (we'll call him Michael) who lives with his girlfriend and her two kids. They were fully engaged this last Saturday in the annual putting up of the outdoor Christmas lights. The kids were running around the yard "helping." The oldest child came up to Michael as he was was calculating the number of bulbs that were out and would need replacement. She says to him, "Ya know my Dad only had one light burn out this year. Isn't that great?" Michael replies, "Yes, that's great." Then she went on, "I mean, after being outside on the house all year, we totally thought more of them would have burned out."
The second is from my house. We have an advent calendar that was mine as a child. It's a long felt scroll with a numbered felt pocked for December 1 - 24. The pockets are filled with little pieces of paper that have an activity for the day. Some of them are small (tell your mom you love her) others are more involved (make homemade Christmas cards for your grandparents). Yesterday the slip of paper directed my kids to "tell a friend two things you really like about them." So, I sent them off to school that morning and told them they could report back to me at the end of the day. At pick-up my daughter, without prompting, came and told me she told Neeve that she was a great artist and a funny friend. I I then asked Henry if he'd done it. "Oops, I forgot," he says and without missing a beat he turns to his friend Eli and says, "Eli, I like how you fart and how you burp."
The first is from my friend (we'll call him Michael) who lives with his girlfriend and her two kids. They were fully engaged this last Saturday in the annual putting up of the outdoor Christmas lights. The kids were running around the yard "helping." The oldest child came up to Michael as he was was calculating the number of bulbs that were out and would need replacement. She says to him, "Ya know my Dad only had one light burn out this year. Isn't that great?" Michael replies, "Yes, that's great." Then she went on, "I mean, after being outside on the house all year, we totally thought more of them would have burned out."
The second is from my house. We have an advent calendar that was mine as a child. It's a long felt scroll with a numbered felt pocked for December 1 - 24. The pockets are filled with little pieces of paper that have an activity for the day. Some of them are small (tell your mom you love her) others are more involved (make homemade Christmas cards for your grandparents). Yesterday the slip of paper directed my kids to "tell a friend two things you really like about them." So, I sent them off to school that morning and told them they could report back to me at the end of the day. At pick-up my daughter, without prompting, came and told me she told Neeve that she was a great artist and a funny friend. I I then asked Henry if he'd done it. "Oops, I forgot," he says and without missing a beat he turns to his friend Eli and says, "Eli, I like how you fart and how you burp."
Monday, November 30, 2009
Great Wolf Lodge
We made the trek to Centralia (excuse me, Grand Mound) this weekend to brave the Great Wolf Lodge. We met friends who had been before. It gave us some courage that if they could do it then we could get through too. The day started with heavy bickering and some yelling and screaming from the 7 year old who is officially too old for that.
But we persevered, packed up the car, the bickering subsided and we headed north. We hit a Burger King north of Vancouver for lunch. There was a brief fight over who could eat more chicken tenders. I had a whopper jr. with cheese. I figure the joy of being in a bathing suit in the middle of winter would only be enhanced by a whopper jr. with cheese.
Sadly my daughter can't find her DS (have you seen it? Pink? White game case?). So my son had to share with her. That lead directly to a new "violation" system. Poor kids - nothing like two lawyer parents to come up with complicated and taxing rules. Violations would be given for hitting, yelling (which includes screaming - yes, that was a question posed), or talking negatively about your sibling. Violations would carry a 10 minute water park penalty where the violator has to sit on a chair and watch as all the other children frolic in the park. Two violations were given. Then a pardon system was created. The pardons were earned. However, there were double-damages possible if violations were re-given after the pardon (you catch my drift, right?). The highlight of the violation game was when Henry hit Sophie and then said in the saddest voice you can imagine, "Violation. I just got a violation" before either of us had even noticed anything happened (he was given a reduction in the penalty due to self-reporting).
We arrive, check-in, get our suits on (seriously, am I really THAT pale?) and hit the water park. GWL can be summed up in a single phrase: Vegas for Kids. That's all it is. And like Vegas, a short stay is best. But all of that said, we had a blast. The water rides are really something and the kids had so much fun. We avoided a lot of the Vegas vibe by skipping the arcade and gaming areas. Why go there anyhow when you've got a wolf cave in your room?
Emily, you guys should give it a try. But I will warn you that there were a lot of people. But with a lot of people come the joys of watching them. And their tattoos and their european speedos and their loose tops as they come shooting out of the water tube....
But we persevered, packed up the car, the bickering subsided and we headed north. We hit a Burger King north of Vancouver for lunch. There was a brief fight over who could eat more chicken tenders. I had a whopper jr. with cheese. I figure the joy of being in a bathing suit in the middle of winter would only be enhanced by a whopper jr. with cheese.
Sadly my daughter can't find her DS (have you seen it? Pink? White game case?). So my son had to share with her. That lead directly to a new "violation" system. Poor kids - nothing like two lawyer parents to come up with complicated and taxing rules. Violations would be given for hitting, yelling (which includes screaming - yes, that was a question posed), or talking negatively about your sibling. Violations would carry a 10 minute water park penalty where the violator has to sit on a chair and watch as all the other children frolic in the park. Two violations were given. Then a pardon system was created. The pardons were earned. However, there were double-damages possible if violations were re-given after the pardon (you catch my drift, right?). The highlight of the violation game was when Henry hit Sophie and then said in the saddest voice you can imagine, "Violation. I just got a violation" before either of us had even noticed anything happened (he was given a reduction in the penalty due to self-reporting).
We arrive, check-in, get our suits on (seriously, am I really THAT pale?) and hit the water park. GWL can be summed up in a single phrase: Vegas for Kids. That's all it is. And like Vegas, a short stay is best. But all of that said, we had a blast. The water rides are really something and the kids had so much fun. We avoided a lot of the Vegas vibe by skipping the arcade and gaming areas. Why go there anyhow when you've got a wolf cave in your room?
Emily, you guys should give it a try. But I will warn you that there were a lot of people. But with a lot of people come the joys of watching them. And their tattoos and their european speedos and their loose tops as they come shooting out of the water tube....
Friday, November 27, 2009
Sweet Valley High
I loved Sweet Valley High. It was the ultimate escapist fantasy. Blonde? Size six? Blue eyes? A twin! What could have been better? It doesn't surprise me that you have an old flame who once wrote for the SVH series... because you know the most random people. It's one of my favorite things about you!
There is no shame in having read all the Twilight books (the Kindle? maybe that's another story...). I just finished the new Julia Glass book (I See You Everywhere). It was very good - although Three Junes remains my favorite. I bawled through the last quarter of the book. I'm not always up for a book that makes me seriously cry, but sometimes it's a nice release. And truth be told, I am a crier by nature. This point is well illustrated by the fact that I cried watching Criminal Minds this morning (there's a marathon on A&E today, BTW). I kept thinking to myself, "really, you're crying? This is Criminal Minds." Mostly Criminal Minds terrifies me, which is it's own kind of escapism. But watching the saved episode from Wedneday on my DVR this morning I realized how sucked into the characters I am now. It'd be really hard to maintain a healthy personal life while chasing serial killers. I worry for them. And then I have to remind myself that they're just made up characters. This happened to me when I read Twilight too. I would find myself driving around and wondering, "How would this work for Edward?" Of course, Vampires and Edward aren't actually real, so the question of how something from my real life would play out for Edward isn't really relevant. Maybe that's the mark of a successful escape though? It's certainly a little more interesting than the age old question of what's for dinner. Tonight I can answer pretty quickly that it'll probably be pizza. However, the question of what happens to poor Hodge after this week's episode of Criminal Minds? Well, that'll take me a little more time to ponder.
There is no shame in having read all the Twilight books (the Kindle? maybe that's another story...). I just finished the new Julia Glass book (I See You Everywhere). It was very good - although Three Junes remains my favorite. I bawled through the last quarter of the book. I'm not always up for a book that makes me seriously cry, but sometimes it's a nice release. And truth be told, I am a crier by nature. This point is well illustrated by the fact that I cried watching Criminal Minds this morning (there's a marathon on A&E today, BTW). I kept thinking to myself, "really, you're crying? This is Criminal Minds." Mostly Criminal Minds terrifies me, which is it's own kind of escapism. But watching the saved episode from Wedneday on my DVR this morning I realized how sucked into the characters I am now. It'd be really hard to maintain a healthy personal life while chasing serial killers. I worry for them. And then I have to remind myself that they're just made up characters. This happened to me when I read Twilight too. I would find myself driving around and wondering, "How would this work for Edward?" Of course, Vampires and Edward aren't actually real, so the question of how something from my real life would play out for Edward isn't really relevant. Maybe that's the mark of a successful escape though? It's certainly a little more interesting than the age old question of what's for dinner. Tonight I can answer pretty quickly that it'll probably be pizza. However, the question of what happens to poor Hodge after this week's episode of Criminal Minds? Well, that'll take me a little more time to ponder.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Why, yes, I HAVE read all the Twilight books
And I hate myself for it. I did like New Moon, but by the 4th one (Reneesme?) i was so bitter and angry but I could not stop myself from finishing it. I wanted to curse Bella, Edward, and StephEnie Meyer but I bought them all on my Kindle and read them all in quick succession. I'm not the only one, either.
I don't get vampires. My reading tastes run more towards cheesy romances, mysteries, and an occasional book that requires brainpower. My current career choice is somewhat inspired by the series from the 1950's that began with the seminal work, "Cherry Ames: Student Nurse." Cherry is a plucky nurse who manages to basically work in every single clinical setting (Cherry Ames: Army Nurse; Cherry Ames: Summer Camp Nurse blah blah blah) in about a 2 year span. I was also a big fan of Trixie Belden and Nancy Drew. And let's not forget Sweet Valley High, although my enthusiasm is somewhat dampened by the fact that an old flame actually wrote for the Sweet Valley High series for a while after college, Francine Pascal being long gone with her gazillions of dollars. Apparently now he is a producer of Rock of Love and Megan Wants a Millionaire, but he honed his skills with Elizabeth and Jessica.
I don't get vampires. My reading tastes run more towards cheesy romances, mysteries, and an occasional book that requires brainpower. My current career choice is somewhat inspired by the series from the 1950's that began with the seminal work, "Cherry Ames: Student Nurse." Cherry is a plucky nurse who manages to basically work in every single clinical setting (Cherry Ames: Army Nurse; Cherry Ames: Summer Camp Nurse blah blah blah) in about a 2 year span. I was also a big fan of Trixie Belden and Nancy Drew. And let's not forget Sweet Valley High, although my enthusiasm is somewhat dampened by the fact that an old flame actually wrote for the Sweet Valley High series for a while after college, Francine Pascal being long gone with her gazillions of dollars. Apparently now he is a producer of Rock of Love and Megan Wants a Millionaire, but he honed his skills with Elizabeth and Jessica.
Does Emily Really Hate Twilight?
Emily, you really HATE Twilight? I mean, yes, it should have been us. We could have written that. And if we had we could be doing the talk show circuit, meeting Robert Pattison (is that his name?) and drowning in money! But, instead we’re here. Well, I’m here. At “work”. And you’re there. At home? In the car? At school? (where are you right now???). All that aside, I can’t hate Twilight. At the end of the day I appreciate most guilty pleasures: The Biggest Loser, Jennifer Weiner books, Steak Umms… yes, I like them all. Please reconsider your Twilight position. Have you read them all?
As far as this blog goes – reader, it’s your lucky day! Here we are – two sassy ladies ready to rock your world with our inventive prose. Or at least our attempts at inventive prose. You know a little about Emily (speaking of – pay per view boxing? That is SWEET). Now a little about me. I graduated from the University of Oregon with a degree in political science and LSAT scores just good enough for me to say, “I’m going to law school after this.” I had a receptionist / secretary / gopher job for two years after college while I got married to my first husband (yes, I have a second husband now) and applied to law school. Looking back that job rocked. I wore shorts to work and read books all day. I headed off to law school at Lewis & Clark two years later. One thing I’ve learned since then is that when they loan you money for graduate school they expect you to pay it back. That is a tough lesson. If I could do anything (well, at least one thing) over I would have gone to UofO for law school. But, lessons learned. I’ve been practicing law for about ten years. I’m at a “big” local firm. I do real estate work. Mostly making the world safer for big box retailers (aka – God’s work). As you may know, the real estate market is in a “down cycle” currently so the hectic stressful pace of practicing law and raising children has ebbed a bit. I spend the majority of my days splitting my time equally between Facebook, internet shopping and the Google. I told Emily I thought I could probably fit in a little daily blogging with that…
As far as this blog goes – reader, it’s your lucky day! Here we are – two sassy ladies ready to rock your world with our inventive prose. Or at least our attempts at inventive prose. You know a little about Emily (speaking of – pay per view boxing? That is SWEET). Now a little about me. I graduated from the University of Oregon with a degree in political science and LSAT scores just good enough for me to say, “I’m going to law school after this.” I had a receptionist / secretary / gopher job for two years after college while I got married to my first husband (yes, I have a second husband now) and applied to law school. Looking back that job rocked. I wore shorts to work and read books all day. I headed off to law school at Lewis & Clark two years later. One thing I’ve learned since then is that when they loan you money for graduate school they expect you to pay it back. That is a tough lesson. If I could do anything (well, at least one thing) over I would have gone to UofO for law school. But, lessons learned. I’ve been practicing law for about ten years. I’m at a “big” local firm. I do real estate work. Mostly making the world safer for big box retailers (aka – God’s work). As you may know, the real estate market is in a “down cycle” currently so the hectic stressful pace of practicing law and raising children has ebbed a bit. I spend the majority of my days splitting my time equally between Facebook, internet shopping and the Google. I told Emily I thought I could probably fit in a little daily blogging with that…
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Welcome to Our Lives!
Jill and I would like to take this opportunity to stress to you how strongly we feel that we should have written a hot teen series like Twilight or Harry Potter. We totally could have, except we haven't. Why? We have families, jobs (Jill), school (me) and quite frankly, making canned Hormel Chili over Trader Joe's brown rice for dinner just about sends me over the edge, so a hot teen series is completely out of the question. I can barely write a grocery list; and if I do, I forget to actually take it into the grocery store...therefore I am always missing some essential ingredient (lately, sour cream) just when I need it the most. But I digress. The purpose of this blog is to get Jill and I to write. Daily. For the next 365 days, we need to write. About nothing, about something, about my fervent hatred of all things Twilight. Jill likes Twilight, so she'll have to find something else to hate. Which I'm sure won't be a problem.
I graduated from Arizona in 1993 with a creative writing major. Essentially this major allowed me to drink heavily 6 nights out of the week and then sit in front of a computer for 15 hours straight and crank out a story. Did I ever think of writing for a living? No. I took the first job I was offered (Pay Per View Manager, Tucson CableVision) and spent the next year pretending I cared about pay-per-view boxing. I moved on to recruiting, equity trading (all the more ironic since I didn't learn to add and subtract fractions until my first day on the job), and a big corporate financial services firm. Now I'm taking math and science at PCC in order to become a nurse. I really enjoy the classes, but I'd also like to get over my aversion to write something other than Facebook status updates.
I graduated from Arizona in 1993 with a creative writing major. Essentially this major allowed me to drink heavily 6 nights out of the week and then sit in front of a computer for 15 hours straight and crank out a story. Did I ever think of writing for a living? No. I took the first job I was offered (Pay Per View Manager, Tucson CableVision) and spent the next year pretending I cared about pay-per-view boxing. I moved on to recruiting, equity trading (all the more ironic since I didn't learn to add and subtract fractions until my first day on the job), and a big corporate financial services firm. Now I'm taking math and science at PCC in order to become a nurse. I really enjoy the classes, but I'd also like to get over my aversion to write something other than Facebook status updates.
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